The Boy did ultimately make it back to the College on the Hill and, pursuant to "The Call", he did "break-up" with his White Girl Friend in the Spring of 1973. The Boy expected that after the break-up he and the White Girl Friend would go their separate ways. But it did not turn out that way. Instead, The God Who Was With The Boy, made the relationship between Boy and the White Girl Friend and a permanent relationship that would last beyond time. Below is some of the correspondence that documents The Spiritual Connection between The Boy and the White Girl Friend and why the relationship never came to an end but rather evolved into a Spiritual Connection between The Boy and the White Angels.
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Oct. 5, 1984
Dear S_____,
C_____ was sick for three weeks. On Sept. 19th she underwent open heart surgery to replace mitral and aorta valves damaged during undiagnosed rheumatic fever “at least twenty years ago” according to the surgeon.
The valve surgery was “successful,” but the right side of her heart was too bad to pump on its own. She died 16 hours after surgery without regaining consciousness.
We are all devastated as you can well imagine.
Please keep in touch.
Love,
N______
10-16-84
Dear N_____,
Thank you for writing me about C_____. It was quite thoughtful of you to remember me at this particular time. I know from my own particular point of view, C____’s death has been very hard to deal with. For the past week, since I received your letter, I have been struggling to come to grips with the reality that the fond relationship I have had with your daughter for over twelve years is no more. I am torn between rejoicing over the knowledge that C____’s quest for a land of serenity, beauty, and brotherhood has, at last, been accomplished, while I mourn for the loss of my dear friend and the part of my life she has taken with her.
I am afraid that the difficulties I have had in dealing with my dilemma has caused me to delay in responding to your letter. Upon receiving your news, I wanted to immediately pick up the telephone and call to express my condolences. However, as I thought about it, I felt as though a simple expression of remorse was neither adequate nor accurate. I felt compelled to say more and it was this compulsion which has led me to sit down and write this letter.
For as long as I have known C____, she has always had a certain propensity for doing things that did not quite fit the norm. Her long lasting friendship with me, her disenchantment with the American lifestyle and her wandering lifestyle are not the regular fare for a Mt. Holyoke graduate. I suppose one could dismiss such propensities as being characteristic of a rather rash, perhaps, even wacky individual, but with C____ I sensed that it was almost as if she felt she did not fit well in the world we have created and that her place, her world lay elsewhere. While reading her letters over the past nine years, I was often struck by the fact C____ and J___ invariably settled in idyllic communities – places of abundant physical beauty. Sedona, Santa Fe, New Hampshire, and Costa Rica were all initially their new found paradise – a place where they could lead a good simple life unfettered by the constraints and hassles of our modern world.
Unfortunately, for C____ and J___, there are very few true paradises on this earth and our modern world does have a way of permeating even the most idyllic setting. Time after time C_____’s letters recount how the reality of our world encroached upon her and J____’s paradise and confront the world. Time after time C____’s letters report how after briefly confronting the world she and J___ chose to withdraw and to search again for paradise.
In college, we read Camus’ The Myth of Sisyphus, a story about a mythological figure’s tragic effort to push a boulder up the side of the mountain. No matter how hard the person tried, the boulder would inevitably roll down the mountain causing the effort to begin anew. Over the past nine years, I have often felt that C____’s quest was much like the effort of Sisyphus – a hopeless effort to find the ideal place. However, now I wonder whether perhaps my assessment was in error. I have begun to wonder and think that perhaps C_____’s quest on this earth was more akin to that of Jonathan Livingston Seagull – a quest for perfection which cannot be accomplished in this world, but which must be undertaken to find perfection in the next.
Well, N____, I have gone on much longer than I anticipated but I did want to make my feelings clear. I do mourn for the loss of my friend and the love and affection I invested in her. I do mourn for J___ and Z____ because I know they hurt and miss her deeply. I do mourn for W____, B___, A____, J___ and S__, who have lost a part of their familial being. And I do mourn for you, as C____’s mother, because a mother’s loss is the most grievous of all. But N____, I do not mourn for C____. As a Christian and as her friend, I have faith and I believe that C____ is, at long last, discovering that she has a place in the world. True, her world is not our world, but her world is a better world and, quite frankly, I shall consider myself fortunate if I am able to one day see it with her.
N____, I pray that I haven’t upset you too much by this letter. I’m afraid that I too have begun to cry. But my tears are for me and my own hurt and not for C____. For C____, I feel only happiness and joy. She has found her peace. God has decided to help her with her quest. Now I must, we must continue with our quest and pray that God will be with us as He is now with C____.
Send my regards to J___ and W____ as well as the rest of the ______ clan. Give a special hello to Z___. I know from C____’s letters that she loved him dearly. Tell him that while she may no longer be with us, his mother still loves him very, very much. Stay in touch N____ and do always and forever remember to keep the faith.
With Love,
S___
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